Horrendous Uncertainties!!!

As i turn away from a regular phenomena of time tearing,
When the life of meadows assemble on a shore of undefined,
To meet a cosmic influenced tide while i dream about uncertainties,
Time, as you may call always changes, people as you may know,
always forget you in a moment of succinct ambiguity filled with horrendous desires.
A never ending story, this one is for the one who leaves you apart & killing a dead soul.

poetry as you may call it was never to be understood, Yet in this undefined hollow empty
life people run after the same regular tunnel of a never ending path of darkness where there is,
no one for the self, A child still awaits to get free from yourself & free from your social dogma,
Uncertainties like these always keeps on multiplying, I on the other hand always end up losing you,


  

Utopian Escalations!!!

So its a another Sunday which is getting wasted in the regular way of getting drunk & then cursing the system be it related with the country , the job or rather the frustration of a man who is still single. Well that was just a summary of the usual routines which i am rather forced to follow in circumstances like these.

Suddenly, Life has changed a lot in the last three years. I was a carefree individual always running away from realities & was always thinking that "grass is always greener on the other side' but, When you are surrounded in a closed system you always feel safe & when you cross the line or rather i should say when you cross the limits of your comfort zone, then you start facing the naked truth of selfishness, internal politics, ego clashes etc. The same things which you used to hate it when you were a little immature but still a sensible person, become a part of you.

I was always a dreamer & nature & music were the things which were always my priorities, but with just dreaming & doing nothing you can't fill your belly. Nature is something which inspires me to move forward & music is something which gives me peace. it makes me feel connected to myself. I always wanted to be a photographer during the day & was always willing to click nature & pack my bags at any given instant. By the end of the day, i wanted to be a musician & wanted to play a guitar for the loved ones. I wanted to be a free soul & also wanted to move to new places & make new friends, but life is not all about just just chilling up. It demands some social responsibilities as you grow up. Those days of roaming freely here & there in the college campus soon came to an end & the "responsibility" was soon going to be enforced upon me. I always desired a Utopian world of my own with a little existence of the people who were close to me. When you close your eyes, you always see the the picture according to your own wish but soon as you get awaken you realize there is no such image which you were thinking before.

When I left my folks for a new city for a new job, never did i realized i will be so alone in this city. I at times forced myself to stay longer in the office so that at-least the loneliness which I was facing due to issues in my life will get a little bit of pause & i will be at peace with myself. Those moments of smoking up endless cigarettes & drinking alone at nights was a total collapse for me. It wasn't as if i was not happy. I was quite satisfied with my job, with my boss but something inside me was always against the system. I sometimes guess it was due to my super inclination towards psychology & philosophy , but these moments of unfulfilled desires , they start haunting you when you are searching for an inner peace. When you start staying alone then only you realize the values of relations. I was always a notorious kid, running away from tough situations. In this new city there were moments when i never spoke to anyone for days, sometimes for months yet i was happy with the music being on my side. Photography, my other passion in the meanwhile got lost in time & in the meanwhile i was happy liking pictures on some social networking sites. I left my cam at home & was now spending most of my life in front of screen & working on excel sheets. When you don't have a company to share your thoughts, it gives you a total breakdown. Its always better to have a support system rather than relying on your own self. In the last three years i have lost many things & found few moments which i can totally cherish for a lifetime. I am not denying that i was a stupid guy, but things need to change. Its okay if you don't follow all of your dreams, but its necessary to follow your passion .

I might have made some mistakes, but right now i need some space for me so that i can close my eyes again & get relieved myself again in the trance of Utopia of my own.

Free Life!!!

Against the new backdrop of snowy mountains, I pursue,

A Mission Impossible of tearing up this slight moment of,

Happiness when the people herein keep on smiling while i bleed,

A new found pain it is which makes me feel hollow, Wish this life,

was a little less ruthless on the personal fronts when the friends were here,

A lonely kid now learns to play with time, A totally grown up succumbs to his fate,

This is the life i had been avoiding for, Running for papers wasn't my choice, Its a,

Activity, Forceful Activity, Against the gravity,Against the sensitivity, For a calamity...

Running away is not a choice, Its a Fear of losing you while i traverse in a medium of infinity,

Faced with an apologetic disaster, Its a process of falling down with time, before the sun sets,

& you realize how the time flies before you even close that one last chapter of your life,

Memories are what we carry forward, Dusts & moments are what we left behind,

A sublimated situation of timely disaster follows the ones who have fought from begining,

Giving Away those things is not a choice to be followed, A forceful act it is to be deprived upon,

Wasted, Suffocated, Defeated on a dreadful choice of freedom of my own desires,

These are the consequences of a lost man in the transition from actuality to reality...

Faded are those memories which are left behind for a crimson cry, A fanatic outrage cries my heart,

This is the end of the blasphemy when I surrender before you, Galloping, Swapping, in the,

Forests of the desolated souls, Now, i see you falling down, Yes We are falling, Together we dwell,

Together we crawl & now its a peaceful day when i let my head rest in your hands & its time when together,

We rest apart, May be this is how it ends, the story of a new chapter begins when you set me free for free life!!!

New Ray of Hope!!!

Hope is another name of faith...We have been having the same roots & had the same forefathers, yet some people divided us apart by creating a Boundary in the name of religion & land, yet it all can be absolved if we share love & food instead of bullets. We have lost some young men who had all the rights to live a good life. Hatred is indeed the weapon of mass destruction, Brotherhood can only be sustained when the people come around & share a peg. Instead of stabbing your neighbor, start loving them. lets share a beer or for that matter a can of coke too, if it can help us spreading our wings & lets stop this hatred. No religion or land is above humanity. Bingo to Coca-Cola Company for creating something like this.

Ritualistic Realties

Redirected on a faster lane, a sudden urge for the free speech,

for the weaker & for the needy arises when the dreams of a lost,

mass shatters & yet the boy struggles to make a mark for his sovereignty,

A story left behind to rot in the pages of history, A revolt of thousand more,

brothers it demands, Yet when the time comes I know i will be the one fighting,

for your causes, Spread across like a christian church, A stigmatic approach,

on the devil's head wont serve your cause, Humor as it may sound will never be the same, Blood as it may seem will flow like rain,

Surmounted with a pressure to lead a tribe of a few men & women, A leader in me,

is jolted with the thoughts of being an escapist against the sole enemy, the very government,

of our own people, A motherless child hopes to get some justice for the killers of his mother,

A faith nevermore appreciated on me to create an efficacy for the masses who have been following,

me in the path of darkness, Justice as it may seem was never in our favors, A law framed was,

always against us, Now its the time to fight fire with fire.....flood with flood & an eye for an eye...

Forgiving the searches, I bestow to dig it up in your soul & fill you with a dirt of my hatred,

Courage to the world, Courage to my soul, I need the hammer to break your skull, A solstice,

Approach it is when i take my revenge for my people. Wait for me father, I am coming to you,

A victor may it seem, but there is some sorta hollowness pilling up with this bloodbath, A guilt,

inside building up for the acts of mine, Never forgiven , this is the end i was always avoiding for.

  

.....................

Frozen with the thoughts of a misanthrope, Divinity is what i have been following,
To spread my wings & let you in, This is my beginning , A Venomous Approach,
Yet so enduring , Peace has no sanity when the world tears apart, Yet i become,
the ruler of the lost world, when the system fails & I arise for you to kill the barbarians,
An Epitome of war its when your philandering thoughts of an uxorious approach fondle my mind,
A cold wave runs through my soul when i see the apprehending nudity of a dead soul,
Now its the time when i give up & I surrender before you, Take me with you to a land far away!!!

The Agnostic Thoughts!!!

A shameless desire it is when a man feels a grudge on you,

When the child cries & I surrender before you, Lost are the,

ones who were once dearer to you, Founds are the one who ,

were never near you, Certainty is the tool when the riders follow you,

A mercenary Revenge it is when we seek to convolve a matter undefined,

Beneath the heated layers of a man with the iron fist, Now its the time,

When we shatter the forces of a mad man, Hatred is what we always use,

As a weapon of mass destruction, Lust is what we always try to live forever!!!

Searching for Perspicuity in the matters unresolved, Ambiguity is what we have,

Been Facing through out, Lost throughout, Lost within, An equanimity never existed,

There in this maligned world, Surrendering myself was never an option before you,
Until the blood starts running up upside down & a pressure building up within,
until a megalomaniac evolves out of this phlegmatic soul as weapon of mass destruction.
Automated, with the emotionless horizons of a dark lord, Fate was something which was .
Never in our hands, A Sinister action is what you have been dealing with throughout this,
Genealogical Disorder by waking up the cadaver in a a dark moonless night, Blood thirst,
Sex Lust, A Lunatic Approach, is all what is you have disemboweled upon in a perennial world,

Bid Adieu!!!

Drifted further on a man less island, A Cacophony of distress, swells apart when I think of you, A moment of succinct desires, & a dreams of blues surmounts me, when the invigorate thoughts, travel in my veins, Appalled by the sacrifices you made for me, Life has no meaning when you are not there, when the happiness, in Karma seems more sadistic when the joys have no innocence, A feeling of mull it is when I see you dwindling far away from me, A stride of  desperation for you jolts me, Come back to me before, I bid you adios, Come back to me before i take a leap from this world!!!!

You were always the one, You will always be the one, Time has flied when,

I shattered you, A simple mistake turns evil, A melodramatic consequences,

swept it all, I wish it was all just a bad dream, Realty is farm from driven, when,

I am mourning for my own actions, Certainty is not an answer when i see you,

Out of  my life, Your thoughts & your memories are the ones which will forever be mine!!!

 Come back to me before,I bid you adios, Come back to me before i take a leap from this world!!!!

Forever there, I will always be there for you, Not this one, but in all the lives,

Where ever you are , I just wish the happiness for you,  You will always be,

the one ruling my mind, A sudden swing of freshness takes back in a time,
when your touch was enough to arouse a feeling of safety in me, Now that,
you are gone A broken beleaguered heart is bleeding in me, A soul so lost,
within fragments of time, A body suffering is what i am going through!!!!!

You were always the one, You will always be the one, Time has flied when,

I shattered you, A simple mistake turns evil, A melodramatic consequences,

swept it all, I wish it was all just a bad dream, Realty is farm from driven, when,

I am mourning for my own actions, Certainty is not an answer when i see you,

Out of  my life, Your thoughts & your memories are the ones which will forever be mine!!!

 Come back to me before,I bid you adios, Come back to me before i take a leap from this world!!!!

Drifted further on a man less island, A Cacophony of distress,

swells apart when I think of you, A moment of succinct desires,

& a dreams of blues surmounts me, when the invigorate thoughts,

travel in my veins, Appalled by the sacrifices you made for me,

Life has no meaning when you are not there, when the happiness,

in Karma seems more sadistic when the joys have no innocence,

You were always the one, You will always be the one, Time has flied when,

I shattered you, A simple mistake turns evil, A melodramatic consequences,

swept it all, I wish it was all just a bad dream, Realty is farm from driven, when,

I am mourning for my own actions, Certainty is not an answer when i see you,

Out of  my life, Your thoughts & your memories are the ones which will forever be mine!!!

 Come back to me before,I bid you adios, Come back to me before i take a leap from this world!!!!

Thoughts of Yesteryear!!!

A trembling desperate moment it is, when the northen winds,

hit me up under the twinkling stars on a  level uncertainty,

A gruesome hatred arises for you, when the loved ones die,

Forgiven once, Forgiven twice A anachronicle disorder,

follows in the mountains of desperation when the lad kills,

another one...Despair thoughts of madness now take me over,

Shouldn't you know I was the one pertaining no one,  A taciturn,

Bastard is all i am left with in a grib horizon of a misanthropic world.

A regular messiah kills himself, when the knife dwells, A hero falls apart,

Facing the alter ego of an egotist  under the affluence of the Crimson Draconian,

A fallen Knight soon will be there to help us cross this river of a 1000 misogamist,

A dexterous winger takes out his frustration in a sinister manner, Now its our turn,

to lead the blind, Rise Up before the dawn, Rise up before the mist..

No, No, No..Help me father, another child of yours dueling  for his own right,

A thought of dwindling years far from the rituals of this era, I want to rise up,

One more time...Rise up for my own self this time...

A puppet's life!!!

On a wishful night, When the stars are glowing,
A sudden desire haunts me to leave it all & run to the hills,
A wishful thought it is when you see yourself packed with lust,
Yet there is no happiness involved, life has its own tragedies,
When you are living a puppet's life, A turn around situation arrives,
When the pressure builds up & there is no one to take care of me,

Freedom Freedom, Freedom is what i have been asking for,
A reason it is far from your understanding,  A peace of mind is,
what i have been looking for, Solace in nature, solace in myself,
Depraved of the thirst to love is what pushing me, pulling me, Killing me!!!

A Child's Play suddenly takes a leap & emerges, a sadistic man,
who is searching for his own identity, A life takes its own turn,
before you even realize, presuming the roles are self driven,
What i had always wanted was a wishful thought of watching the sunshine,
& playing in the muds without thinking much of you,
Those moments of love, innocence is what i had always desired,

 A sudden change in interval it is when, the periodic cycle moves
 & the time takes a move in the forward direction,
What i left in the past is what i had always asked for, Not this puppet's life,
which i had always retaliated, Changes in life are sudden, Memories are what we left with!!!

Freedom Freedom, Freedom is what i have been asking for,
A reason it is far from your understanding,  A peace of mind is,
what i have been looking for, Solace in nature, solace in myself,
Depraved of the thirst to love is what pushing me, pulling me, Killing me!!!

Freedom Freedom, Freedom is what i have been asking for,
A reason it is far from your understanding,  A peace of mind is,
what i have been looking for, Solace in nature, solace in myself,
Depraved of the thirst to love is what pushing me, pulling me, Killing me!!!

The Last Thoughts of A Dying Soldier!!!

To, the rustic mountain glorifying the sovereignty of my land,

A bullet for you in my chest is not enough to bestow,

The fragment of life which you have witnessed from the start of time,

A Certain respect arises here for you, to give the winter solstice when,

my countrymen are rather sleeping, I on the other hand stay awake for guarding you.

There are memories associated with your standings when i have cursed you, accused you,
And blamed you for all the blasphemy between the human emotions, Yet its my gun & the,
Enemy's hunger which are always there to stare at you.

With each passing day i question myself" Are these bloodshed really necessary",
Yet when the time comes, a mere lamb also emerges as a beast,
A certain divinity it gives when I am leaving for a greater place,
Where there is peace & brotherhood, Where there are no boundaries,
And Hatred associated, I died young with the bullet in my chest,
but i know i will live long in your memories.